In a belated attempt to cover up normal Putrajaya stupidity arch thief Najib has announced that Deputy PM Zahid had been urging him for months to appoint cousin Hishamuddin as Minister with special functions.

Since Najib did not give any public explanation about what these “special functions” might be, and since complaisant Zahid has been equally silent on the matter, there is room for wide public speculation.

What “special functions”? Given Inche H’s past ministerial experience maybe seeing to it that the taxpayers jet is ready and waiting whenever Najib needs to run for it? Or just something simple such as arranging for Rosmah and her jewels and cash loot to be safely transported to KLIA when run away day arrives? Or something to do with seeing that the distribution of bribe money to UMNO Ministers, MPs and fixers goes as smoothly as when Najib had to see to this himself?

Malaysians will no doubt find a whole raft of explanations for these “special functions” and there is no need for more detailed speculation. We all know that whatever Inche H does will be on the orders of boss gangster Najib and it will involve theft and misuse of public money and public assets.

Of course Najib could always give a public explanation for these “special functions.” But that might be as difficult as explaining how billions of dollars were stolen from 1MDB a fund which he controlled personally and from which nothing could be spent without his personal signed approval.

Just like the monkey with a rice filled paw inside the coconut. Stuck!